Sweet Moments

 ~ Sweet Moments Found In Poetry ~

There is a certain kind of magic

in the writing, in the reading

a certain kind of magic

tucked between the lines

A poem read from long ago and far away

can carry echoes of a fond rendezvous

of youth or hints of yearnings floating

just beneath the heart in wonder

Words to remind of love now lost

to gently revive the memory of

what it felt like to be another’s

special heart. Another’s One

JoMae

9/16/21

Weather Report

~ Weather Report ~ 

90º

a steamy hot day for the month of May

a day where it’s hard to stay awake

so it’s off to the kitchen for some

more caffeine, a stretch and

a pick-me-up snack then

back to my laptop, pay

some bills, answer

friends’  emails

write a while

and read

a day to preserve my energy. So

I’ll do what I can with online chores

and let roomba take care of the floors

saving ‘company touch up’ for tomorrow 

when it will be 10 or more degrees cooler

and I expect to have a little bit more steam!

JoMae

5/31/22

Sun Worship

~ Sun Worship ~

      - a reverie 

Ahhh. Still day. Warm sun on the front porch. Seems like I’ve been waiting for this all winter!  I’d intended to attend my zoom service this Sunday morning, but I’m soo hungry for this promised sunshine I could not turn away the blessing of this long awaited sun bath! It is heavenly and soothing. I’m basking in it’s warm hug. Seems like I’ve been holding my breath for months for such a time as this! My spot in the sun which my old cold bones are viscerally absorbing.

Tomorrow will be even warmer, but with rain - as so often happens before spring finally arrives.  Then the rest of the week we are back into the 40ºs and 50ºs.  I simply couldn’t miss this gift of the sun’s warm embrace - even for worship.  So in the stillness of this gorgeous day I’ll pray and worship in my own way and catch the recorded gathering later.  What a blessing all this is. And how rejuvenating!

JoMae

4/24/22

Dream: Woman Wading

~ Woman Wading ~

I seldom, if ever, wake up knowing I have dreamed.  Yet this morning was one of those rare days.  Makes me wonder, why this morning? The only thing I can think of is that I knew going to sleep last night that this would be a totally open ended day. No phone date to work around. No one stopping by. Some notes to write or other pleasant ‘might do’ items on my daily list. No musts or shoulds breathing down my neck. 

After a wonderful weekend with guests, Monday was empty and perfect for regrouping. Tuesday was a rare gorgeous Spring day with my grandson who came to help clean up the yard - followed by a fun zoom with widowed friends in the evening.  Wednesday was loose with a long wonderful phone call scheduled in the afternoon. But today, nothing is scheduled. I love a totally open ended day like this when it happens. I often spend much of it writing. It feels extra indulgent in my already indulgent life with no one to be responsible for but myself. 

So I wonder why I woke this morning knowing I’d just been walking in a huge lake - or perhaps it was the ocean. Not dressed for swimming. Just in shorts and summer top. I’d been sitting on the sand in the sun and simply decided to get up and walk out into the shallow water.  Then  finally, when up to my waist, quietly turned around and walked back to the shore.  I don’t know if I was alone or with others - or who those others may have been.  I was simply enjoying myself. 

For 5 years now I’ve been having quiet days alone. Adjusting to suddenly being on my own. Thankful for my home and all the memories captured here. For my family. Yet without John there is always the ache for what was so long familiar - now severed.  The camaraderie of long lived love. 

My main occupation now is to read and write. In need of having a purpose in my life, (this chapter where for the first time in all my days, absolutely no one needs me or depends on me for anything) I study and ponder a great deal - which occupies most of my time. Not only does no one need me, I have not found a niche in which to do for others in a meaningful way. A nudge to participate in the give and take of what was once daily living. I do participate in zoom gatherings a few times a week. Also in phone calls, texts etc with my kids. But I think I’m past the time for me to go out to volunteer. At 84, no longer driving, and not steady on my feet, I don’t see much that I could do. 

I rarely watch tv or movies. But this week, for some reason, I’ve craved escaping into a film - and have watched one Prime Movie each day or evening. Pure escape. Often silly. Totally non purposeful. I don’t know how long that yen will continue. Nor what switched in my mind that something once deemed frivolous and unattractive suddenly has become a delightful escape!

Perhaps it is connected to other changes I am working toward. Within a year (I hope) I will be leaving the warm blanket of this old home where we/I have lived almost 45 years - and downsizing to an apartment in a Sr Living Community.  While I am comfortable here, I’ve become quite isolated and find myself more than ready all of a sudden to be in community again. A place where I can physically participate in as many or few activities as I please, yet be self sufficient in my own apartment. I’m quite  excited at the prospect. 

After so many years of being active in one group or another, the mainstay of which has always been our church, death, and then the pandemic - along with aging, has effectively put an end to all of that. My group contacts are mostly via zoom now and I guess I’m suddenly ready for more. I’m not looking for a bosom buddy, but I do hope to make a few friends in my new place. It does seem to be a friendly climate. When I have toured or visited, the people tend to smile when passing in the halls with a pleasant hello.  

Here in my neighborhood of large old city homes - most of which are now apartments, even after all these years, strangely, I don’t know most neighbors. We used to take frequent evening walks. Now I cannot do that - nor do I care to by myself. In the summer I often work on the front porch and nod a warm hello to folks walking by who might catch my eye. Some may even be familiar, but I don’t know them.  I’m hoping to get to know a few people at the Meadows. 

So back to the young woman in my dream. She is confident, happy and content.  As she walked deeper into the water, she was tempted to dive in and swim but it had been so long she wasn’t sure she still knew how to swim, (nor, she thought, was she prepared with a towel) so continued enjoying her wet walk.  

Perhaps she is a reflection of the woman I am today. Sticking to what she is confident about, yet moving forward with joyful anticipation. A bit  cautious yet eager to try something new.

JoMae

4/7/22 

'No Write' February

-- Seasons in a writing life

Winter Window

~ My ‘No Write’ February ~

I’ve been away on another staycation

with visiting offspring from hither and yon 

from over the ocean and far away places

they flew all directions to be by my side

to celebrate birthdays, meet up with

siblings and feast with each other

 all five

We each took leave of normal routine

to rekindle our hearts for a time

<> <> <> <>

~ And Now It’s March ~

my muse is sweetly sleeping

I will not rush to wake her, as

my soul, too, must wake from

welcome rest after a month of

lively chatting with family here

now all returned - while quiet

slowly seeps, centering me

 to write again

JoMae

3/3/22

Love Stays

 ~ Love Stays ~

Loss cannot destroy our love

only change the shape  of

how it stays with us, now

an  echo beating in the

heart, a foundation to

build a new life upon

new forms of

Joy 

JoMae

1/4/22

Love  Loss LifeLessons MovngOn NewJoy 

WE

Shadows, Trees and Clouds of Light

~ WE ~

I wish I were an artist

I would draw a tree

a tree strong and

vibrant and I’d

name it We

next I would sketch that tree

struck  asunder by a storm

split right down the middle

half, dead on the ground

the other half still standing

yet appearing to be dead

until, as seasons turned

starts to sprout instead

small branches now begin to form

blossoming anew -- while on the

ground all around the fallen half

life is nourished, flowers grow

We, now separated

continue each to serve

half reborn and blossoming

half lives in another realm

singing a new song

JoMae

1/1/22

Prompted/inspired by Joy's medium post: Deeply Rooted

https://medium.com/@lydalrydal7/deeply-rooted-958d4fee6e50

Pivot

 Learning to turn

Artist, NancySpoelhof.com

~ Learning to Pivot ~

When

life’s curves catch us off guard

stun us and block our way

we must learn to pivot

to learn a new route

to bypass, detour

the threat

Sometimes the pivot comes from within

when we simply know it is time to find

a new direction, remake ourselves

and set out to conquer life again

JoMae

11/22/21

Mirrored Lessons

The Child

~ Mirrored Lessons ~

My aged mother, now long gone

has moved into my mirror

she smiles at me when I walk by

reminding me of long ago

when both of us were younger

the child came crying, all forlorn

for lack of any friends, so mom

showed her a mirror, where

a good lesson formed

see how much nicer your face appears

when you smile, she said - had me

practice for a while then

sent me off to play

next morning, climbing on the bus

grinning ear to ear - the same girl

yet not quite the same, tried to

spread good cheer

these days, each time I see mom’s face

glancing out at me, I remind her how

important a smile proves to be

and there she is, grin intact, 

smiling back at me, still

sending me off into my

day - skipping

JoMae

12/14/21

Dreamers

~ Dreamers ~

We pour our minds onto the page like spilled ink 

not black ink, but many colors of the rainbow

sharing our dreams, spilling our sorrows

sorting worries that have turned out ok

and what we can make of all not ok

We look back, look forward; rejoice, despair

we tear down,  we repair,  life goes on

Our dreams remember the good and the bad

sprout blossoms of what might have been

and what still can be - who we can be

what we can make of ourselves

to color our world again

JoMae

11/2/21

Free To Be Me

Learning to grow Petunias

~  Free To Be Me ~

When life is joyfully interwoven

with lover, family, friends, we hardly

 notice morphing into one another while

living to please as much as possible

out of mutual love and respect

When suddenly we lose our love

must do life on our own, re-discover 

who we are; find our new identity, learn

if we can fit in what was once familiar

now upside down - forever changed

<><><><><><><><>

I never sought to be free, dear heart,

I loved the life we had — still cherish it

yet slowly, buried bits of me come back

the young girl, a new old me unedited

without love’s checks and balances

free to test the limits of my soul

free to be, free to be — me

JoMae

9/27/21

Retrospective

My Delicate Swirling Blue Glass

~ Retrospective ~

An annotated scrapbook

saving echoes of our lifetime

memories reminiscent of days

finished long ago -- ended, yet

hover at the edge of my mind

 swirling over,  languid waves 

lapping gently on the shore

catching me off guard  as

I peer into the unknown

to savor all that was,

that is, in wonder

JoMae

9/23/21

Mantle Of Love

~ Mantle of Love ~

As subtle as a wispy cloud

the visions come to me

breathing softly on my heart

in dreams of memory

Moments long now disappeared

float as a mystery to cheer, to

bring a smile, recall the touch

of the love we held so dear

Soft as a geranium's blossom

warm as a tender hug, may

the mantle of our long love lost

soothe my soul forever

JoMae

9/11/21

Staycation

Far Away Places With Strange Sounding Names - Photo by Author

 ~ Staycation ~

I’ve been away for a day or two
a staycation you might say
escaped the walls I live in
on the pages of a book

I traveled through it’s chapters

as on a train across the land

- left my world behind me

wandered round the bend

through chapter after chapter

I watched the world pass by

while I, with all the friends I

met unravelled mystery

I napped when I felt tired

I barely stopped to eat

I took no calls or emails

this was a two day treat

and when traveling was over

with me safely back at home

I sighed deep sighs of satisfaction

this great vacation's done!

JoMae

8/19/21

Morning Song

Black Eyed Susans in an Overgrown Garden - Photo by author

~ This Morning's Song ~

A brief reflection in solitude

When I wake with a crick in my neck

and a knee reluctant to bend

with no exciting plan to cheer the day

from now until its end

I stumble down, prepare a mug of coffee

to sip in early quiet on the back porch

before our city wakens, before delivery and 

garbage trucks begin to rumble by

Before the birds begin to fly. It is just me

and one small bunny nibbling on the lawn

until she notices and flees into the arms

of John’s garden - her comfort zone

The lawn, more like a leafy meadow

surrounded by tall trees - a forest

tucked into an aging neighborhood

Its shade a blessing on hot August days

This yard, crafted carefully for over forty years

a testimony to one gardener’s love - now

on its own and overgrown, continues to inspire.

And look! A pair of mourning doves appear.

While I give thanks and cheer!

-JoMae

8/10/21

This morning’s reverie… Enjoy!