Bread Upon The Waters

~ Bread upon the Waters ~

As you cast your bread upon life’s river every day

Do you wonder who retrieves it and is nourished?

Where the morsels, swollen by the water catch?

Where your words find rest and like a buried

seed transform to sprout new thoughts to

grow new life, adapt a new expression

serve as a crutch to form another’s

prayer?

Thank You

JoMae

12/20/19

Thanks and a Happy New Year to all whose writings have enriched my life this year. You’ve helped me think and pray and grow - and sometimes have prompted a few words of my own. Blessings!

New Normal

12/9/19 note:

Dear friends, especially those who are still in your first year, today i ran across this note on how my new normal felt at that point (8/7/17).  On being comfortable with solitude, I still tend to hibernate, but in time have become far more comfortable with it. I’m thinking of all of you still in your early stages of this journey and share it with hope for continued healing, love and encouragement.

~~~~~~~~

August 7, 2017

My New Normal

Most mornings after breakfast, I settle in my chair, open my laptop and think, write etc for a few hours. I might not step outdoors for almost a week if I don’t need to run to the store. All the while feeling slightly embarrassed about it, slightly guilty, sort of a concern that others, if they were aware, would think there is something wrong with me. Wondering, what would people, my own kids, think if they knew how truly I am hibernating here. As if this is something I must explain or make excuses for if asked. As if this hibernation is abnormal. I know it will not always be this way, and yes it is abnormal - from what life was 7 months ago - before John died. But for now it is normal. It is OK.

This now is my day. My work. My purpose. My joy. I can send away that ‘shoulds’ monkey on my shoulder and embrace this abundant time of quiet I have for healing and for writing. I can drop the apologetic stance and mindset I’ve been carrying around inside of me. It feels like a sigh of relief! It is OK! This is now who I am. I will embrace this new routine and gradually modify it over time. I might even go outdoors and read in the sun for a while this afternoon! -JoMae

Something Taken...

 March 21, 2018

Hi my friends. This is a fresh observation for me, a moment of recognizing something new.

Something Taken, Something Given

I think most couples develop the give and take of compromise. Easing off a little here or there to give the other space. Like a beautiful dance or a jazz duet. Often so subtle as to hardly be noticed. It is what we chose for love. It is what it takes for two unique (sometimes opposite) personalities to get along.

In our marriage, John was the quiet one. Took his time to speak. I was the talker - apt to barge on ahead of him. Especially with friends, I tended to be conscious of this and tried to temper blurting out my opinions somewhat. (not always successfully, I'm sure) It was always there. Occasionally annoying, but usually barely noticed - until last night.

I have not been very social since John died 15 months ago. Last night I met with a few friends for the first time and found myself at ease, enjoying myself and deep into good conversation. I noticed something felt different. Only later did I realize what it was. I was not holding back.

The bad thing is I’ve lost my soul mate, the good thing, I think I’m finding my Self in a new and healthy way. It was a lovely feeling actually. To step out from the past (still holding hearts) and step into the future to find this woman dancing solo, free, eager and able to be responsible for her own self.

So while my great love and anchor has been lost, it appears that something good has also been found. Something taken, something given. I am blessed.

JoMae

John's Advent Calendar

John's Advent Calendar

~ Christmas Eve Remembered ~

How many nights, the children tucked

I’d relax with my book and the music

while John slipped down to his shop

still finishing a treasured gift

I’d mute the radio, preferring to hear

him whistling to the carols as he worked

love wafting up - a sweet aroma 

all mixed with paint and sawdust

Finally he’d appear, join me on the couch

grinning ear to ear - pleased with success

confident the paint would dry by morning

ready for a glass of eggnog and a hug

I wish I had photos of all those toy soldiers,

forts and games he produced! Most now 

disbursed to new families that came along

keepsakes for grandchildren

JoMae
12/16/19

John's Advent Calendar Open

These were made for the grandchildren.  Each box to hold a treat and then be returned to its place in reverse.  The final effect revealing a picture of the whole family taken at a reunion. 

Advent Joy

Joy Stamp Reflected

John enjoyed creating cards with hand carved linoleum cuts.
This greeting read, "May your joy be complete" reflecting
Jesus' words found in John 15 (vs11) and 16 (vs 24)

(Of course the stamp is carved in the negative, so
the photo above is a reflection in the mirror.)

John's linoleum cut stamp for greeting:
May your Joy be Complete

~ Advent ~

Advent offers time to thankfully reflect on a

gift given so many years ago yet with us daily

and on the endless echoes of that gift exchanged

throughout the year: human kindness reflecting

Godde’s Love

JoMae

12/2/19

Remembrance

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Remembrance

Today marks the 3rd anniversary of John’s death.  I love this print and share because it expresses so eloquently the loss of one’s spouse. The artist, James Browne can be found at https://www.etsy.com/shop/brownieman 

Artist: JamesBrowne

John's Tree

~ John’s String Tree ~

for years it was a string tree he had designed

and painstakingly rebuilt every December
then carefully stored away until the next

later, when age no more allowed the reach

atop the pole, came a huge three part bargain

decorated, yet too unwieldy to assemble at eighty

<><><><><><><>

the building of the tree

was often agony for me

the reason for my angst:

the stringing of the tree!

that old beloved tree, created in youth

of a tall bamboo pole, pegboard strips

screwed into a circle and Aunt Lydia’s

rug yarn (always patiently rewound

into a big green ball) was a bear

to put together every year

it was a puzzle to decipher worn instruction

 notes, frustration if a crucial peg were missing

or some gadget didn’t fit the way it should, while

five excited children sought to help - so eager
for the finished product they remembered

which was

a festive tree to grace our living room each

Christmas - sometimes with a train around it

always with the paper angels wafting to and fro

as if dancing to the music of the shepherd’s pipes

waiting above a growing pile of tantalizing parcels

JoMae

12/14/19

HaHa - I daydream a lot. And some dreams morph into a memory to keep.  JmkS

Silent Grace

~ Silent Grace ~

My world is wrapped in written words these days

some that I write; some gifts from far away

each breaking into the silence of my day

with joyful noise, a hug, a quiet smile

to say what they must say to let me

think a while, in thanks pay honor

to the giver of all blessings, all

silent seeds to nurture and

mature with loving grace

my cup is overflowing

Thanks be to Godde

Amen

JoMae

12/7/19

Wondering

~ I Wonder ~

Did Godde see I needed this time alone

to grapple with the questions I used to

ask wrestling with my preacher Dad? 

Was this unwanted present a gift of

Grace LOVE knew would benefit my

pondering soul with silent time to think?

time for this old book worm to curl up

with Word Godde un-interrupted by

that loved human voice now gone 

time to mine deeply rooted lessons

planted in days long gone - now nurtured

in new answers first formed on Mother’s lap

yet always re-forming through the years

as new questions rose to challenge --

to clarify old answers with new

Wondering

JoMae

12/5/19

Frozen Glaze

~ Freezing Days ~

My world has been

painted in disappearing

ink etching every surface

glowing bright in morning sun

reflecting one last burst of beauty

before melting under its warm gaze

The Frozen Glaze

JoMae

12/8/19

My Woods

Recalling summer on this frigid day all draped in white.

(ran across this piece while sorting files this morning)
Enjoy!

~ My Woods ~

my lovely shallow woods

where sunset filters leafy shadowed

silhouettes onto stately trunks of pine

and last light of dusk reflects the

glory of a summer day

JoMae

7/28/19