Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Weather Report



~ Weather Report ~ 

90º

a steamy hot day for the month of May

a day where it’s hard to stay awake

so it’s off to the kitchen for some

more caffeine, a stretch and

a pick-me-up snack then

back to my laptop, pay

some bills, answer

friends’  emails

write a while

and read


a day to preserve my energy. So

I’ll do what I can with online chores

and let roomba take care of the floors

saving ‘company touch up’ for tomorrow 

when it will be 10 or more degrees cooler

and I expect to have a little bit more steam!


JoMae

5/31/22

Monday, April 25, 2022

Sun Worship


~ Sun Worship ~
      - a reverie 


Ahhh. Still day. Warm sun on the front porch. Seems like I’ve been waiting for this all winter!  I’d intended to attend my zoom service this Sunday morning, but I’m soo hungry for this promised sunshine I could not turn away the blessing of this long awaited sun bath! It is heavenly and soothing. I’m basking in it’s warm hug. Seems like I’ve been holding my breath for months for such a time as this! My spot in the sun which my old cold bones are viscerally absorbing.

Tomorrow will be even warmer, but with rain - as so often happens before spring finally arrives.  Then the rest of the week we are back into the 40ºs and 50ºs.  I simply couldn’t miss this gift of the sun’s warm embrace - even for worship.  So in the stillness of this gorgeous day I’ll pray and worship in my own way and catch the recorded gathering later.  What a blessing all this is. And how rejuvenating!

JoMae
4/24/22

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

Easter Week


~ Easter Week ~

for folks who walk the path with Christ

this week offers much contemplation


a time for grateful pondering -- to honor

all the meaning found in death, in life


time for reflection on one most holy life

a gift first cheered at Christmas time


whose justice, love and mercy, modeled 

so many years ago, teaches on today


Love - not even squelched in death

Christ, the Way, walks with us yet


with thoughts that beat deep in

our souls to guide us home


Thanks be to Godde


JoMae

4/12/22


A reflection on the mystery




Thursday, April 7, 2022

Dream: Woman Wading

~ Woman Wading ~

I seldom, if ever, wake up knowing I have dreamed.  Yet this morning was one of those rare days.  Makes me wonder, why this morning? The only thing I can think of is that I knew going to sleep last night that this would be a totally open ended day. No phone date to work around. No one stopping by. Some notes to write or other pleasant ‘might do’ items on my daily list. No musts or shoulds breathing down my neck. 


After a wonderful weekend with guests, Monday was empty and perfect for regrouping. Tuesday was a rare gorgeous Spring day with my grandson who came to help clean up the yard - followed by a fun zoom with widowed friends in the evening.  Wednesday was loose with a long wonderful phone call scheduled in the afternoon. But today, nothing is scheduled. I love a totally open ended day like this when it happens. I often spend much of it writing. It feels extra indulgent in my already indulgent life with no one to be responsible for but myself. 


So I wonder why I woke this morning knowing I’d just been walking in a huge lake - or perhaps it was the ocean. Not dressed for swimming. Just in shorts and summer top. I’d been sitting on the sand in the sun and simply decided to get up and walk out into the shallow water.  Then  finally, when up to my waist, quietly turned around and walked back to the shore.  I don’t know if I was alone or with others - or who those others may have been.  I was simply enjoying myself. 


For 5 years now I’ve been having quiet days alone. Adjusting to suddenly being on my own. Thankful for my home and all the memories captured here. For my family. Yet without John there is always the ache for what was so long familiar - now severed.  The camaraderie of long lived love. 


My main occupation now is to read and write. In need of having a purpose in my life, (this chapter where for the first time in all my days, absolutely no one needs me or depends on me for anything) I study and ponder a great deal - which occupies most of my time. Not only does no one need me, I have not found a niche in which to do for others in a meaningful way. A nudge to participate in the give and take of what was once daily living. I do participate in zoom gatherings a few times a week. Also in phone calls, texts etc with my kids. But I think I’m past the time for me to go out to volunteer. At 84, no longer driving, and not steady on my feet, I don’t see much that I could do. 


I rarely watch tv or movies. But this week, for some reason, I’ve craved escaping into a movie - and have watched one Prime Movie each day or evening. Pure escape. Often silly. Totally non purposeful. I don’t know how long that yen will continue. Nor what switched in my mind that something once deemed frivolous and unattractive suddenly has become a delightful escape!


Perhaps it is connected to other changes I am working toward. Within a year (I hope) I will be leaving the warm blanket of this old home where we/I have lived almost 45 years - and downsizing to an apartment in a Sr Living Community.  While I am comfortable here, I’ve become quite isolated and find myself more than ready all of a sudden to be in community again. A place where I can physically participate in as many or few activities as I please, yet be self sufficient in my own apartment. I’m quite  excited at the prospect. 


After so many years of being active in one group or another, the mainstay of which has always been our church, death, and then the pandemic - along with aging, has effectively put an end to all of that. My group contacts are mostly via zoom now and I guess I’m suddenly ready for more. I’m not looking for a bosom buddy, but I do hope to make a few friends in my new place. It does seem to be a friendly climate. When I have toured or visited, the people tend to smile when passing in the halls with a pleasant hello.  


Here in my neighborhood of large old city homes - most of which are now apartments, even after all these years, strangely, I don’t know most neighbors. We used to take frequent evening walks. Now I cannot do that - nor do I care to by myself. In the summer I often work on the front porch and nod a warm hello to folks walking by who might catch my eye. Some may even be familiar, but I don’t know them.  I’m hoping to get to know a few people at the Meadows. 


So back to the young woman in my dream. She is confident, happy and content.  As she walked deeper into the water, she was tempted to dive in and swim but it had been so long she wasn’t sure she still knew how to swim, (nor, she thought, was she prepared with a towel) so continued enjoying her wet walk.  


Perhaps she is a reflection of the woman I am today. Sticking to what she is confident about, yet moving forward with joyful anticipation. A bit  cautious yet eager to try something new.


JoMae

4/7/22 

Friday, March 4, 2022

'No Write' February

-- Seasons in a writing life
Winter Window

~ My ‘No Write’ February ~


I’ve been away on another staycation

with visiting offspring from hither and yon 


from over the ocean and far away places

they flew all directions to be by my side

to celebrate birthdays, meet up with

siblings and feast with each other

 all five


We each took leave of normal routine

to rekindle our hearts for a time


<> <> <> <>


~ And Now It’s March ~


my muse is sweetly sleeping

I will not rush to wake her, as

my soul, too, must wake from

welcome rest after a month of

lively chatting with family here

now all returned - while quiet

slowly seeps, centering me

 to write again


JoMae

3/3/22

Monday, January 17, 2022

Dear Heart

~ Dear Heart ~


The last gift you left me


only perceived in the

aftermath of grief


after a time in the dark shadows

of the valley of your leaving


the deep depth of sorrow


<><><><><><><>


the last gift you left me was the

confidence we knew together

which blossoms ever more

in the wake of your dying


and


transform the emptiness of loss

into new purpose anchored in

the strength we shared, into

a good life now on my own


JoMae

1/17/22

Saturday, January 15, 2022

Dancing With Words



~ Dancing With Words ~


When mourning turns to dancing

in the rhythm of the words that

pour onto the page to purge

the depths of sorrow, rage

to search for meaning in

disaster, comfort in the

loss as insight buried

deep within rises to

the surface of the

mind — bearing

wisdom stored

for such time


as this 


like a firm

fishing pole

patiently finds

its catch so my

pen  plumbs the

depths of my quest

to understand a loss

so deep, yet wider than

any ocean, as empty and

disorienting as being adrift

at sea — until answers begin

to emerge in the shape of hope

and direction as to navigating this

unknown world with new purpose


JoMae

1/14/22


Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Love Stays

 ~ Love Stays ~


Loss cannot destroy our love

only change the shape  of

how it stays with us, now

an  echo beating in the

heart, a foundation to

build a new life upon

build new forms of

Joy 


JoMae

1/4/22


Love  Loss LifeLessons MovngOn NewJoy 

Morning Routine


~ Morning Routine ~


I come with coffee

to my pondering chair

where I begin to read or

write or wonder for a while

until something stops me in

my tracks, compelling me to

write down what it brought to

mind a poem memory or new

insight to explore to help me

understand,  enjoy this life

this gift that I’ve been led

to after loss.  This new

person I am finding in

the quiet of my day

This New Joy  


JoMae

1/4/22


A poem emerging...

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Psalm 98 Echo


~ Divine Love ~ Justice With Equity ~


Psalm 98 

(adapted)


O sing to Jehovah a new song

for Godde has done marvelous things!


Your right hand and your holy arm

have gotten you the victory and you

have made known your righteousness.


You have revealed your vindication

in the sight of the nations and have 

remembered your steadfast love and

faithfulness to the house of Israel

(and to me)


The ends of all the earth have

seen the salvation

of our Godde


Make a joyful noise to Jehovah, all the earth;

break forth into joyous song and sing praises.


Sing praises to Yaweh with the lyre,

with the harp and the voice of a psalm.

With trumpets and the sound of the horn

make a joyful noise before Jehovah 

Our Monarch


Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;

the world and those who live in it.


Let the floods clap their hands;

let the hills sing together for joy

at the presence of Jehovah, for


Godde, who is coming to judge the earth,

will judge the world with righteousness

and the peoples with equity.



adapted by

JoMae

1/2/22


An echo passage - adapted for personal praise and thanksgiving