Something Taken...

 March 21, 2018

Hi my friends. This is a fresh observation for me, a moment of recognizing something new.

Something Taken, Something Given

I think most couples develop the give and take of compromise. Easing off a little here or there to give the other space. Like a beautiful dance or a jazz duet. Often so subtle as to hardly be noticed. It is what we chose for love. It is what it takes for two unique (sometimes opposite) personalities to get along.

In our marriage, John was the quiet one. Took his time to speak. I was the talker - apt to barge on ahead of him. Especially with friends, I tended to be conscious of this and tried to temper blurting out my opinions somewhat. (not always successfully, I'm sure) It was always there. Occasionally annoying, but usually barely noticed - until last night.

I have not been very social since John died 15 months ago. Last night I met with a few friends for the first time and found myself at ease, enjoying myself and deep into good conversation. I noticed something felt different. Only later did I realize what it was. I was not holding back.

The bad thing is I’ve lost my soul mate, the good thing, I think I’m finding my Self in a new and healthy way. It was a lovely feeling actually. To step out from the past (still holding hearts) and step into the future to find this woman dancing solo, free, eager and able to be responsible for her own self.

So while my great love and anchor has been lost, it appears that something good has also been found. Something taken, something given. I am blessed.

JoMae