Remembering The Women

~ A GENEALOGY OF JESUS CHRIST ~

A genealogy of Jesus Christ, the son of Miriam, the daughter of Anna:

Sarah was the mother of Isaac,

And Rebekah was the mother of Jacob,

Leah was the mother of Judah,

Tamar was the mother of Perez.

The names of the mothers of Hezron, Ram, Amminadab, 
     Nahshon and Salmon have been lost.

Rahab was the mother of Boaz,

     and Ruth was the mother of Obed.

Obed’s wife, whose name is unknown, bore Jesse.

The wife of Jesse was the mother of David.

Bathsheba was the mother of Solomon,

Naamah, the Ammonite, was the mother of Rehoboam.

Maacah was the mother of Abijam and the grandmother of Asa.

Azubah was the mother of Jehoshaphat.

The name of Jehoram’s mother is unknown.

Athaliah was the mother of Ahaziah,

Zibiah of Beersheba, the mother of Joash.

Jecoliah of Jerusalem bore Uzziah,

Jerusha bore Jotham; Ahaz’s mother is unknown.

Abi was the mother of Hezekiah,

Hephzibah was the mother of Manasseh,

Meshullemeth was the mother of Amon,

Jedidah was the mother of Josiah.

Zebidah was the mother of Jehoiakim,

     Nehushta was the mother of Jehoiachin,

Hamutal was the mother of Zedekiah.

The the deportation to Babylon took place.

After the deportation to Babylon

the names of the mothers go unrecorded.

These are their sons:

Jechoniah, Shealtiel, Zerubbabel,

Abiud, Eliakim, Azor and Zadok,

Achim, Eliud, Eleazar,

Matthew, Jacob and Joseph, the husband of Miriam.

Of her was born Jesus who is called Christ.

The sum of generations is therefore: fourteen from Sarah to David’s mother;

     fourteen from Bathshebba to the Babylonian deportation;

     and fourteen from the Babylonian deportation 

          to Miriam, the mother of Christ.

-Genealogy compiled by Ann Patrick Ware

This genealogy tracing Jesus’ great grandmothers was taken from Remembering the Women, a book of scripture readings that include women, compiled by J. Frank Henderson. ““A Genealogy  of Jesus Christ” was compiled by Ann Patrick Ware of the Women’s Liturgy Group of New York, who has graciously put this text in the public domain for all to use.” 

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During Advent, when many preach and reflect on the few women named in Matthew’s lineage, let’s also remember the many other mothers, both named and unnamed, both Hebrew and not, who were great grandmothers of Jesus. There are precious lessons to ponder here as well. Remembered here, of course, are mothers in Christ's paternal line. Mothers of the mothers are not recorded. -JoMae

May It Be Unto Me

~ May It Be Unto Me ~

Mary’s acceptance of the Angel’s pronouncement

of a circumstance beyond her control becomes

an example stretching beyond her own story

burrowing deep into individual experience.

Her life divided sharply with those words

her days will be forever split between

before and after. No going back.

There is no going back.

With only memories of the past

her sole vista now is forward

stumbling, pondering the

heart pounding news

she looks ahead.

Who was this messenger, this Gabriel?

Did Mary think of Sarai and of

Samson’s Mom, whose

angelic messengers

turned out to be

God’s Self?

Soon going to Elizabeth

she begins a journey

that will bring her

through the fear

and pain of

childbirth

and to the joy!

Young Mary sheds her blood to 

 bring new life into the world.

New hope.Then continues

on her journey mothering

her little one through to

the pride of who he’s

grown to be (“what

he says, do it”!)

and on to her

bitter grief,

the cross

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All are not called to shed our blood

but most will one day face worlds

beyond our own control - lives

changed even unto death.

Let Mary’s words remind us to accept,

to trust our selves, the future - and

most of all the ONE holding our

future cradled in holy hands

Almighty Godde

FatherMother

El Shaddai

Please mold us, grant us wisdom

that we too may accept all

that has been given

or taken away

with grace

JoMae

3/14/18

Luke 1:26

Gen 18:13

Judges 13:20-22

John 2:5
During the past two years, since the death of John, my husband and soul mate for 57 years, much of my work has been focused on learning about loss and how to accept it.  As I pondered and reflected, I came to see Mary’s acceptance to be a model for myself and all who journey through the joys and sorrows of life, praying for and finding the grace to move on.

A New Song

Photo: Lily Flower by Dreamstime

~ A New Song ~

I waited patiently upon you, YHWH;

You stooped to me and heard my cry,

 lifted me out of the desolate pit,

out of the mire and clay.

You set my feet upon a high cliff

and made my footing sure.

You put a new song in my mouth,

A song of praise to our Godde;

May many see, and stand in awe,

and put their trust in you.

Psalm 40:1-3

adapted

An echo of Psalm 40:1-3 becomes my offering of praise today

JoMae

12/7/18

Icy Morning Sunshine

~ Icy Morning Sunshine ~

Icy morning sunshine is pouring through my windows

reflecting iridescent off the white landscape beyond

yet amber leaves still cling to the old oak, its limbs

all etched in snow. Many inches already fallen 

and it's not even winter on the calendar yet

JoMae

12/7/18

Love Beyond Loss

~ Love Beyond Loss ~

I will not lose our love for it rests deep within

Your love has molded me and echoes still

Now as I grow new life and step ahead

It seeds new blossoms sure to bloom

JoMae

11/13/18

Happy December everyone. I’m still marveling at how life goes on after tragic loss, when the world as we knew it abruptly disintegrates. In this season of thanksgiving for the gift of Christ’s Presence in our lives, please know that buried in the new normal one encounters, confusing as it is, unexpected presents will surprise you. Gifts of Godde’s Grace. Watch for them! Open them when you are able and be blessed.

My Breathing Tree

Artist Credit: Peace, Be Still by James Browne
[https://www.etsy.com/shop/brownieman]

~ My Breathing Tree ~

When

I was a girl

there was a tree

growing quite close

beside a porch. A walnut tree

with arms so strong it safely could

hang on to me as I climbed up high 

with a book in hand and tucked 

myself in the crook of a limb

There I’d sit as still as could be

barely breathing so I could see if

what I felt was the breath of the tree

It had to be. I could feel her, snug

against my back with the gentle rhythm

of a living hug. I was sure she breathed

her love for me as she held me close - and I

so still as not to break the magic spell while

I sat with my book in the arms of my tree

and read of lives I wanted to be

At 80 now, I still recall it vividly

that sense of the tree  

 breathing with me 

JoMae

11/19/18 

ThanksLiving

Autumn Blessings

Abundance From Judy's Garden

~ ThanksLiving ~

You left me here, Dear Heart

alone and on my own - my world

all upside-down without you

the life we knew is gone

has died with you

Now as I surface from the depths

and grow a new familiar - I wait

for a fresh bud upon the vine

we nurtured for so long

I’m watching, waiting as it blossoms

slowly, yet with great surprise

I am captured by its promise

life anew in your demise

Nourished by the love we shared

strengthened by our years, I’m

grateful for the gifts I count

as this Thanksgiving nears

JoMae

11/19/18

Thankful for gifts never sought or needed before death turned life upside-down, yet now, emerging, are life giving - full of hope to turn despair around.

Growth by Grace

Roses Blooming in the Snow

From a photo by Shari Harrison

~~ Growing by Grace ~~

A

death

in blossom:

I love the life I had

and grieve the One I lost

yet even amid the mourning

new aspects of my self emerge

words I had no inclination to refine 
when life's duet was full to overflowing

have now become the anchor of my days

my work, my life, my pleasure, my companion

I am a writer

renewed

by joy 

JoMae

11/15/18

Celebrating new growth seeping in through the cracks of devastating grief and nourishing new hope.  A gift of Grace.  Thanks be to Godde.

Blessing Prayer

This Gray November Day

~ A Prayer For Blessing ~

Bless this day dear Godde I pray
Bless the world in which we play
Bless all homes in which we stay

Bless our lives and what we say

Bless every one displaced by fire

Bless the homeless every where

Bless any frightened, lost, afraid

Bless this lovely world you made

Bless all hands that now are laid

On many lives in need of aid

JoMae

11/13/18
A Simple Prayer For Blessing On This Gray November Day

Immersed In Yellow

Collage in Yellow

~ Immersed In Yellow ~

I imagine I’m in a mustard sandwich

between maples still brilliant high above

and the lawn below, deeply carpeted in gold

I love to watch those dancing leaves drifting 

through the air like giant snowflakes 

floating down to find their spot

and settle there ’til buried

deep in ice and cold

Even in demise

glistening in the sun 

leaves gently carry down

their quiet autumn

blessings

JoMae

11/07/18

Bereaved

Blossoming in the Desert

Ocotillo Plant in Joshua Tree
Photo by Nancy Spoelhof

~ Bereaved ~

In the muddle of mourning 

when words run like tears all

mangled together unsorted, one 

needs to decipher, learn to discern

what and when to appropriately share.

JoMae
10/1/18

More thoughts on grief from one whose tears
tend to pour out in words.

(a note to myself☺)

Bookwifery Challenge

Five Day Challenge on my book idea re Reflections on Loss~

John's Garden in Glass
~an icon of love~

The following pieces first appeared on Instagram responding to a #bookwiferyvisibilitychallenge to answer five questions when considering a potential book idea. Exploring the possibility this way helps clarify goals. 

Day 1 - Name Your Message

My message is to bring insight about grieving both to those who have lost recently and are walking through it for the first time and to those who have friends and family who are mourning loved ones.  To share insights into loss one can only learn by walking in those shoes.  To give a glimpse of small moments that show both the hopeless sense of emptiness and absence as well as the glimmers of new that sprout up from this dark place.  To let people see examples of hope, of unwanted gifts which emerge out of the pain of loss.  To help others see that it is possible to accept those ‘unchosen gifts’ and flourish in embracing them.  To show examples that yes, horrible as this is, some good can come out of the sadness.  One can live on.  Grief can be transformed through the unforgotten love it is rooted in. 

Day 2 - NameWhy It Matters

I believe my message matters because when a loved one dies, we who remain find ourselves in uncharted waters, feeling stunned and lost and in need of finding a new identity. New relationships in a once familiar world.  New balance. It will take much time and healing to be centered again. During this time of adjustment and transition to finding your new self, the voices of those who have walked in your shoes will be invaluable. Their words can be both touch stone and guide through this new terrain. Yet in the shock of loss, one may find it difficult to focus, to absorb long articles. I hope my short pieces will hold the hand of someone in deep mourning. I also hope the experience shared will help friends and family better understand the pain. 

Day 3 - Name Who It's For

Who am I writing for?  First of all, I wrote these pieces for myself.  They emerged from journaling my way to healing after losing John, my husband of 57 wonderful years.  Most of them came out in short poems which captured a moment of insight or reflection on this loss.  Also the hope and healing which often surprised me.  My hope is that these short reflections may be a touch stone for others encountering loss. For both the immediate loved one and friends/family wanting to better understand the many dimensions of loss. 

Loss of a loved one, deposits those left behind in a world of unknown territory. Suddenly we must learn to maneuver strange, confusing thoughts and terrain. Often we are left to translate well meant words that otherwise would hurt.  All the while knowing that before our own loss, we didn’t ‘get it’ either.

I know that at first, I was unable to focus long enough to tackle lengthy articles or blog posts on grief - which became valuable to me later. So maybe my pieces will hold the hands of those whose mourning is still raw, and bring comfort.

Day 4 - Name What You Wish They Knew

What I wish they knew, starts with what I wish I’d known. What I didn’t 'get' when my own Dad died. What I didn’t understand about what my Mom was going through.  The visceral reality of absence. The silence. The void.  Not that anyone else can fill that void, but the acknowledgement of it is so important. A call, card or text from time to time to check in to see how a grieving friend is doing and if they need anything, goes a long way - even if nothing is needed. It is comforting to be reminded you are not forgotten.

I wish I’d known how long the emptiness remains - even when life gets busy again and others think all must be back to some kind of normal. I wish I’d understood these things when Mom lost Dad and when other friends were mourning their losses. I wish I’d known to recognize that the smiles of early mourning are likely masks donned for stepping out, yet discarded behind closed doors.  I wish they knew how self-conscious many feel, not wanting pity. Preferring to stay inside instead. 

Before death comes for one we love, it’s almost impossible to imagine surviving such a blow. I wish I’d known, and others too, that as life goes on, unsought gifts slip in - not to replace the grief, the love you had, but to grow from it as you find your new identity without your beloved one. That out of the seeds of your buried love, you will blossom once again. 

I am so thankful that I had a hobby, in my case it is writing. Alone, now on my own, I let the solitude embrace me and dove into this thing I love to do. I lost myself in words to pass the hours and sort out the confusion. So I encourage others to consider what brought you joy before, whether cooking or music, knitting or gardening… - let yourself be lost in it as time allows. Dive deep. That too, is what I wish others who are grieving, know to do.  

Day 5 - Name How You Can Help

Perhaps I could help by offering thoughtful words in small bites meant to share the heart of one who has also grieved. Someone who has walked in their unfamiliar shoes and struggled with bereavement first hand. While each person’s reality is vastly different, I have found comfort in the insights gleaned from others who are grieving. From others who are members of this unchosen tribe into which we have all been pulled, kicking and screaming. I hope that sharing these vignettes of moments on my journey might hold someone’s hand by being the voice of another who has experienced a deep loss; might be a virtual listening ear to one who is grappling with the same questions and uncertainties I’ve had. 

JoMae
10/29/18

Double Edges

Linden Tree at Clox

Photo by Judy Spoelhof

~~ Double Edges ~~

Life is a two edged sword these days.

Loss is hard and discombobulating

yet through the effort of adjusting

joys emerge as unexpectedly as

did the grief. Sorrow and joy flow

intermingled through my hours.

Sometimes I try to sort them out as if

warring and determined to compete -

although to no avail, for I’m learning

they are one and must find peace.

And should you hear me whine of loneliness, please

know, it’s not so much a craving for companionship

as craving that companion who has vanished

whose absence is a void impossible to fill.

Know also this. That void is only half the story

the other half is gently filling up with joy -

transforming joy with power to melt the sword

and meld both edges into one new life

where pain of loss will be subsumed, embraced

by wonder carried over from the past and

molded to a plowshare full of purpose.

Fit for service.  Joyful service.

JoMae
5/20/18

Aftermath

Aftermath

     Willa Cather, 1873 - 1947

Can’st thou conjure a vanished morn of spring,

     Or bid the ashes of the sunset glow

Again to redness? Are we strong to wring

     From trodden grapes the juice drunk long ago?

Can leafy longings stir in Autumn’s blood,

     Or can I wear a pearl dissolved in wine,

Or go a-Maying in a winter wood,

     Or paint with youth thy wasted cheek, or mine?

What bloom, then, shall abide, since ours hath sped?

     Thou art more lost to me than they who dwell

In Egypt’s sepulchres, long ages fled;

     And would I touch—Ah me! I might as well

Covet the gold of Helen’s vanished head,

     Or kiss back Cleopatra from the dead!

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I love this poem by Willa Cather.  It expresses for me the sheer finality; the void, of loss. The impossibility, try as one might, to conjure up in the mind’s eye (or the soul’s) a tangible memory of one’s dear departed.  The futility of trying to grasp an echo of their presence wrestles with the guilty ache that one so dearly loved could be so completely absent from a day’s experience.  -JoMae

Driving South in Autumn

- Driving South in Autumn -

Traveling through the rolling hills of Pennsylvania 

soon after dawn on this sunny autumn morning

the hills look wrapped in blankets of soft velvet. 

Mist is rising in the valleys

In sharp contrast to this veiled distant view

a lake shines brilliant blue and

rippling rivers glisten in bright sun.

The day is mild.

Rock cliffs edge the road

where the highway was cut through 

their faces, wet with dew, reflect the sun 

like giant coal black mirrors to the world.

The trees and hills nearby will not be muted

their colors joyful, many leaves still holding on

though countless branches are already bare

- soon to be blanketed with winter snow.

JoMae

1l/13/16

I ran across this memory of our last road trip the other day.  Such wonderful days. Never dreaming they would suddenly end just a few short weeks later!

Girls Will Be Women

Rules Are Changing -

Boys will be Boys, but
Girls increasingly become strong Women
Able to speak their truth and be believed.

In the wake of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford speaking up, I’ve been reading the many many stories pouring out by women who have quietly carried the secret of sexual assault and its echo of fear with them all their lives - and I’m thinking:

Boys will be Boys
Men will be Men
Girls become Women able to speak their truth.

Beware, the world is changing

JoMae
9/19/18

Quiet Time

Soaking in the Beauty...

QUIET TIME

Enjoying my small woods with book in hand

this stunning late September morning. 

A time to sort the day ahead

to read a bit and think

to meander deep

within and

listen 

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When I step into my inmost Self

for a time of quiet pondering

Godde is already there

Godde is always there - if

I’m aware or not. Always

near to listen, to engage

as I wrestle life issues

or just breath in the

beauty of the day

and listen

JoMae

9/21/18

Flashback - Morning Beauty

~ Morning Beauty ~

(Flashback to September 2012)

https://annaver.blogspot.com/2012/09/morning-beauty.html

The Elegance of Shadow

The garden is less lovely without John’s care

and his zinnias do not grace my table now

but the shadows still enthrall me

I find such beauty there

John introduced me to the elegance of shadow

on an early date, an evening walk around

Reed’s Lake as he pointed with wonder

to the lamp post reflected at our feet

I may not have even noticed.

John saw beauty in the shadows - 

a gift that keeps on giving to this day!

JoMae

9/14/18

Bubble of Light

~~ Bubble of Light ~~

Late afternoon.  The morning sunshine

pouring through these windows is long gone.

A confusing disappointment has left me empty, 

I am riding out the ending of the day ’til it is past.

And then. One tiny ball of light began to gently dance 

upon the carpet. Rays glancing off a neighbor’s window

seeping through the leaves to drop in on me a while?

It came and went, popped about a bit and brought a smile
for there is usually no sun in this room around this hour.
Still, there it was. An errant bubble bursting in and out

and in again until I got the message of its little light.

For even in the gloom the light of joy is present. Even

when we forget - are not aware - Love’s Presence

enfolds us and sometimes in the background of

an ordinary day, sometimes with a tiny nudge

brings a smile bursting to remind us to be

Joyful

JoMae
7/27/18

I Wonder

Through Gates of Splendor!

~ I Wonder ~

I wonder.  If that deepest core within us

that invisible spark which makes us 

each uniquely who we are

that spirit, intangible, yet oh so real

I wonder. When our bodies die,

does that ethereal essence 

turn to dust as well? Or 

does it in the twinkling of an eye

return home to Godde, slip through

the placenta back into the womb of eternity

there to develop and be prepared to be

born yet again. To serve anew

I wonder where John’s spirit is 

what purpose it’s now given

what joy he’s found and giving

I can’t imagine he is idle - even in eternity!

One day I’ll know. Meanwhile

I Wonder

JoMae

6/16/18

On our travels, John loved to point out and photograph beautiful design. This gate is somewhere in Charleston.

~ Welcome Note ~

Dear Friends,

This blog is my letter to the world whose music speaks to me in potent words of color, breeze and shade... 
-JoMae                      (With a fond Salute to Emily Dickinson)

Painting: The Letter ~~ Artist: JamesBrowne.net

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~ Welcome to my BITS and PIECES ~

This blog is my letter to the world

whose music speaks to me in potent

words of color, breeze and shade, through 

books whose notions seed themselves in

nooks and crannies of my mind only

to float around there until one day

I fish a bit, reel in to lay all out

so as to look at them again, try to

clarify, grasp the meaning of those
little tidbits niggling at my brain -

 this blog brings order to the verbal

chaos wafting through my world 

MY LIFE

JoMae
7/9/18

Welcome to these bits and pieces of my world.  If you wish to share a bit of yours or add a comment, please do.  Enjoy!

That Moment...

Photo by Jessicakate Miles
Always - Remember the Rainbow!

~~ ABSENCE ~~

That moment after months of trying to adjust to widowhood, 

when your first real crisis hits resurfacing your grief with

 an acute stab as you realize anew s/he is not

here to share the burden, the fear of this

fresh wound

When new loss reminds you how alone you are without
the presence of your soulmate’s love, voice

companionship and familiar touch

JoMae

7/23/18

Dedicated to all who have lost a spouse and to the friends who patiently listen, seek to understand and help each one of us move on.