Mourning Hope

Whether you are mourning the loss of a beloved life partner, a child, a parent, good health  or some other emptiness, these words are for you.  They were born out of the pain of the death of my husband, but they speak to the amazing gift of hope offered through the Grace of Godde in Christ. Grace that enables one small step after another to regain our balance in the face of an unthinkable loss.  

We are each unique and when troubled will find our solace and inspiration in different places.  My John was a gardener and woodworker and those are the areas he would turn to when sorting life out.  He could get lost in his garden or shop.  I imagine he did some of his best praying there.  Beauty emerged in many forms from those favorite spots.

My bent has always been to write.  That is my sorting out place.  I can get lost for hours reading, pondering and writing.  That is when my answers emerge, my hope for the years to come.  So when John died suddenly and I found myself with hours of quiet solitude, it was natural for me to journal my way through the loss.  To capture small discoveries I saw for the first time.  To come to grips with the finality of death.  To remember and reflect. To grieve. And in the process, to discover who I am now. For after almost 60 years of being half of a loving couple, steeped in the commeradarie of that familiar world, there is much to learn about now being on my own.  

As I write this afternoon, I’m facing the first anniversary of John’s death.  Looking back, I have learned so much.  Some of my reflections I have already shared. I hope to keep doing so.  May they be a touch stone for others dealing with loss.  Going back over the work of these past twelve months, editing and tweaking, the words become my garden, my workshop where I get lost in the joy of memory and reflection.  Rambling through these entries, I feel most close to John. That in itself is a blessing.  Here I find meaning. Order in the chaos of brokenness. Perhaps some of these pieces will help others find hope and spark healing ideas as well.  That, dear friends is my prayer. 

Trust in Godde, whose love will sustain you.  Trust what Godde has given you over the years.  Trust who you are in Christ.  Trust what you have learned, whether through failure or success, through gain or loss.  Trust the still small voice of Wisdom in a quiet moment.  Know that Godde is with you every step of the way - even when you forget. As you mourn and slowly heal from the invisible wounds of loss, be patient and know that hope will come again.  You will find meaning again. One small step at a time. Not the same as you have lost, but a new chapter. The page is blank. As you fill it, may you find joy!

JoMae
12/06/17