Empathy

Photo by Elizabeth Spoelhof

~ A Touch of Empathy ~

Lee stepped into the break room with a smile on her face. In part the mask she wore in public, partly real. The room was empty of any other workers, so making a coffee, she relaxed to savor the silence in a busy day. Deep in thought, she was surprised to look up and see Jim, from sporting goods, walk up. She’d met him and his wife at the last get together. A really pleasant couple.  What she didn’t know was that before meeting Mel, Jim had lost his first wife to cancer. He knew the pain first hand.

Having heard about the recent death of her husband, Jim sat with his coke and told her how sorry he was. That he knew how hard returning to the realm of work could be. How disorienting the world must seem as she made her way - now on her own. He spoke as one who had been there and told her that he had. They talked.

The relief of speaking with one who had lived her grief and understood what she was dealing with, poured through Lee.  She didn’t cry, but as they shared this moment, she recognized the unique gift of this man’s kindness. That something special was happening. When break was over and he stood to leave, placing a hand gently on her arm in a heartfelt wish for strength and comfort, encouraging that time would heal for her as it had for him, she knew the moment would live on.

And it has. Joy in life takes many forms. Not long after this encounter, Jim was transferred to another city. Their paths never crossed again. But the empathy of that caring moment does live on. It marks a spark of possibility, of new beginnings bursting from the ashes.  A pivot. New potential delivered through the gift of caring. A gift offered by one person who did not shy away from the awkwardness of reaching out. Did not succumb to the silence born of not knowing what to say. 

For Lee it was a touchstone of the love she long had known. A rekindling of hope that happiness would someday return. A glimpse that the sadness of loss would not reign forever. An affirmation in her heart that life was not over, more gifts would surprise her and she could begin to trust and expect them to appear. 

Now several years on, she still recalls that day when in a moment raw with grief, somebody understood. At a time when it seemed impossible to look forward to anything, when life was just going through the motions, when anticipation seemed a lost art, one man’s empathy touched her core and became a small step in turning life around.  In time sadness did begin to fade, enthusiasm for life slowly returned and the art of anticipation blossomed once again.

JoMae

11/13/20