I'll Love You Forever - A guest post by Paul Spoelhof

Mother Dearest

Hi Mom,

The other night Henri chose the book "I'll love you forever" as a bed time book.  It was late and he had procrastinated his way through putting pjs on and brushing teeth but he just wasn't ready to sleep.  He often asks for a book even when he knows we're exhausted and the answer will likely be "not tonight sweetie. Maybe tomorrow if you can get ready for bed more quickly." On that night though, he was especially clever.  He pulled the book off the shelf, got onto his bed and when I came in to tuck him in, he held up the book and said will you read just this book to me tonight.  I choked back a giggle and tried to be serious about bed time, but he said, "you know you really like this book.  You want to read it to me, don't you."  I asked him what gave him the idea that I like the book so much and he said "Your voice always get so quiet when you read the mother's song."  Garrett heard this from the other room and said, "yeah dad, when you read that book it seems like you're reading it to yourself and have forgotten that we are even there."

I never realized that it was so obvious, but they are right right, I do love that book.  I love the fact that the story traces the life of the mom and son; that it comes full-circle in more ways than one; mom singing the lullaby to son, son singing it to mom, and then son singing it to a baby daughter.  There are a lot of useful life lessons in that book, but that's not why I can't resist it.  When I read that book out loud to one of the boys, you are right there reading it to me.  

I can't explain what it is about the book.  It's probably not just one thing, but a combination of the illustrations reflecting the style and gadgetry of my childhood and the rhythm of the story reflecting a poem or song; something I associate closely with you.   I'm pretty sure it was not a book that was around when you were reading me bedtime stories.  So, it probably isn't an actual memory of you reading it; unless the memory is of you reading it to the boys.  But when I read the chorus that is the mother's song to her son, I sing it in a simple cadence to the most basic melody; barely singing it at all, and every time I can hear you singing to me. 

I love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as you're living

My baby you'll be 

I cherish that chorus.  I even hate to get to the end of it, especially the last one.  Sometimes, if I get it just right I can hear your voice deliver the first few words on the following page as well.  Other times, if I try too hard to make it happen, my voice is the only one I can hear.  Those are disappointing moments but your voice usually reappears magically the next time the chorus comes up.  I am so lucky to have a mom who manages to read me stories and sing to me, even now; when it is way past my bedtime.

I love you forever

I'll like you for always

As long as I'm living 

My mother you'll be

Paul

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This lovely Mother's Day email from 2011 warmed my heart at the time and is a hug that I go back to often!  It's long past time to share it here.  Thanks Paul!