May 03, 2017

Road Trip Reflections


Debriefing the Road Trip

Seismic upheaval; small subtle change 
Sometimes it’s hard to know the difference

ROAD TRIP - WE

We always loved our road trips
Whether a thousand miles or just a few

We loved to drive and watch the seasons change
To get away for an afternoon, a day, a week or more

He loved to find wide open sky with clouds to celebrate
I, the lakes in Spring before the leaves unfurled to hide them

His preference was beautiful classical music - especially piano
Mine was folk or PBS talk radio

We shared.  The radio, the driving, our preferences,
While pointing out gorgeous clouds or scenery

He loved Savannah and other old cities to explore
I often chose a balcony or a park bench to wait 
and people watch or read til he returned

We both loved the quiet companionship of our rides
Miles rolled by as each travelled deep into our own thoughts

We loved those long days together
Away from our routine

WE LOVED OUR LIFE TOGETHER

————

ROAD TRIP - ME

I wanted to try it.  Felt reasonably sure I could do it.
Yet wondered if the familiar would be empty without his company

I’ve always loved to drive, so decided to plan carefully
Then get into the car and go

I loved it!  Loved moving through the blush of green as Spring awoke
As trees brought forth still tiny leaves and new born flowers added color 

Almost felt guilty to enjoy it so much.  But enjoy it I did
Felt calm and centered; strong and ‘together’

No sense of being scattered or lost or unsure.
John wasn’t there, yet our patterns were

Coffee in the thermos.  Talk radio the whole day 
A motel reserved at the halfway mark
And at the finish line, family waiting
To warmly welcome me.  

It felt good.  I felt safe.  I felt competent
Yet, I pondered, how could I enjoy this so much without him?

Until I understood it wasn’t a comparison of this way or that
These trips were apples and oranges

If I had a chance to go back and travel with John again,
That would be wonderful.  I would enjoy every minute

But now I am traveling alone 
and so thankful for the joy I find in it!
I loved the solitude!  Of being in control! 
Even of owning the radio!  

New and yet not new. 
  Informed by many years of traveling together
I’m so glad to discover that road trips are still in my future
And there is no need to be afraid. 
I can be good company to me

I AM ABLE TO  LOVE MY LIFE ALONE

JoMae
5/2/17

6 comments:

Betti said...

Thank you, as always for having these thoughts and sharing them with us. For we who have not walked this path find comfort in your sharing. And, it is joyful to know that you are finding happy in the new path. For this is what we all hope to achieve. Hugs, Betti

JoMae said...

Always love hearing from you, Betti. Thanks a lot for your kind and encouraging words.

hendrikporte@hotmail.com said...

I like your apples and oranges analogy. Life will never be the same after losing a loved one. But there are beautiful moments to be had.

JoMae said...

Hi Henk. It took a while to figure that out, but you are so right and I'll keep looking for and finding those moments. Next, I'm driving to Ft Wayne to see Paul and family.

Unknown said...

The power of 1. Many people find it lonesome, but I find that being on my own centers me and allows me to understand the world better. The analogy is excellent because both being 1 and being with others are wonderful experiences. Both to be enjoyed, even, by the same person.
I love you Mom! - Sarena

JoMae said...

Thanks for writing, Sarena - and for your love. I like that: "The power of 1." I'm discovering that strength as I adapt to this new reality. And thankfully, I too am not lonely in my solitude.

Post a Comment

~ Thanks for stopping by. Your comments are welcome! ~